Eccentric Middle Class

Recently I needed a solicitor... found one who lives in a mock Tudor house in a private lane. I was ushered into a dining room lined with glass cabinets full of Toby jug/Lladro lady knick knacks and furnished with gnarly antiques. One quarter of the room was taken up by a collection of bottles of various spirits and the whole place stank of grog. Every bit of available floor space was occupied by bottles of Evian. It was completely overwhelming. The solicitor herself seemed quite normal, except that she obviously had to screw her courage to the sticking place to look me in the eye. Shyness? Then as I followed her out, I could see that her tweedy skirt was frayed and split right open down the back, exposing a sturdy beige foundation garment of some type. These characters are common... if male they wear stained shirts and exist on ready meals from Marks and Spencer, but I think this example had a liquid diet!